The Power of Vulnerability

Taken in Maui

Happy New Year!!

I'd like to start 2011 discussing vulnerability and referring you to a superb TEDTalk by Brene Brown on the topic. From her bio: "Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work. She has spent the past ten years studying vulnerability, courage, authenticity and shame."

Vulnerability is in effect "letting your guard down". It's letting your real self be seen by the world and subjecting yourself to the possibility of criticism, attack, ridicule and disconnection. It is a feeling rarely sought out. But I believe to be a truly great mentor or a truly great leader one must be willing to be vulnerable with the right people at the right time. Brown's work in this area seems to support this theory.

In a nutshell her research finds that vulnerability which is "the courage to be imperfect" results in "connection as a result of authenticity". Vulnerability is the core of shame but at the same time is the "birthplace of joy, creativity and belonging".

Great mentors will create a safe space for their mentees to be vulnerable. A good way to do that is to be vulnerable themselves by sharing stories of past mistakes, learnings and beliefs. Allowing for vulnerability in your mentoring relationship will have 2 important benefits:

1. We all know that trust is key in any relationship such as mentoring. Being vulnerable with each other will deepen your trust and deepen your relationship with the mentee. It will allow for further growth and development for both of you.
2. As the "birthplace for creativity" vulnerability will be the catalyst to solving issues the both of you have been dealing with in your sessions and in your lives.

This advice doesn't just apply to mentors but to any leader in society. The best leaders throughout history were the most authentic and therefore vulnerable. Think of Abraham Lincoln or Winston Churchill. These were great leaders that did not try to appear infallible. They exuded confidence and positivity but not infallibility and certainly not perfection.

And it's tough, even impossible, to be authentic without being somewhat vulnerable. It seems our world lacks great leaders across all areas and perhaps it's because everyone is trying to be too perfect. Or perhaps we all expect and demand that our leaders to be too perfect and that's their response?

Up top of this posting is a picture I took in Maui several years ago. It's there because it gives me a sense of openness. Openness is a key to vulnerability. Try it some time....you may like the results!

Brene Brown's wonderful TEDtalk here.