Monday, March 9, 2015


Image credit: Fpound at the English language Wikipedia

I recently watched a very enjoyable "Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee" episode by Jerry Seinfeld with Bill Burr as his 'vehicular guest'. Early in the show Bill espouses a philosophy of life that was passed down to him by his financially astute brother. It goes something like this: "You don't want to be the guy that owns the boat. You want to be the friend of the guy that owns the boat. Let him deal with docking fees and the barnacle cleaning. You just show up with the beer and you're the hero. You get on the boat, you enjoy it and when it's done you can [wipe your hands of it.]" 

You can see the clip for yourself by clicking here and fast forwarding to around 3:50 minutes.

On the surface that seems like a perfectly good, perhaps even admirable, way of living your life. You get all the benefits with none of the inconveniences. But I'm not so convinced. While you may enjoy many of the advantages with fewer burdens in the end you are not the master of your own destiny. You are completely dependent on your friend to want to take out the boat which he or she will do on their schedule and at their convenience. You may be enjoying the ride but it's likely not when nor how often you want it.

When discussing a complex situation with a mentee there sometimes comes a time when the mentee wishes someone else would be stuck owning the problem. I gently remind them that all problems have gifts hidden in them. If the fear of making mistakes comes up I gently remind them that their decisions will either be correct or they will learn something - all positive outcomes. The joy then comes from owning the issues and having the independence to make decisions and reap the benefits whether they be success or learning. Independence and the ability to control your own destiny are precious qualities to cherish.

I'm not suggesting to shun the help of others. Few of us advance without the friendship, encouragement and guidance of family, colleagues, friends, managers and mentors.That's equivalent to getting help picking out the boat or maintaining the boat or steering the boat. It's not the same as just going for a ride.

All this talk of boats and sailing and destiny brings celestial navigation and the following quote to mind:

"It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves."
- William Shakespeare

Monday, January 12, 2015

What Is Hidden In Front Of You

Image from: is0b3lpalm3rs0n  Creative Commons license

“And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it.”
                                                                - Roald Dahl

This post has been a struggle to complete. My initial notion of what this article would be about was "what might be hidden in front of you" in terms of you as the mentor. I was going to use this phrase as an introduction to the concept that there's always more to what your mentee is saying. You should be paying attention to what's not being said in your conversations just as much, if not more, than what is actually being said. Do you notice patterns in topics or tone of voice around certain topics? Are there areas the mentee consistently avoids? Is there advice the mentee is resistant to consider?

Then when I sought out quotes I could share along with this article I found the two that bookend this text. These quotes expanded my scope of what secrets are hidden around us all.

Considering the Roald Dahl quote and hidden magic: Magic is defined as "the power of apparently influencing the course of events by using mysterious or supernatural forces." Putting the believability of supernatural forces aside, the quote is about you being an active participant in finding wonderment at what happens around you. Staying open and curious ("watching with glittering eyes") is the key to finding this magic and being able to create a space for your mentee to feel safe giving up their 'secrets'. This is not something that you can fake or easily turn on just for your mentoring conversations. It's an overall approach to life that others, including your mentee, will sense and respond to positively. And if curiosity and wonderment are things you consider yourself poorly skilled at it's actually something you can significantly improve on by simply practicing (click for related article)!

The Mike Murdock quote below, just as in the wisdom of Roald Dahl, is one that applies to all of us - mentor or not. We may all have big dreams and big plans to get there but what makes up a life is the little bit we focus on and achieve day to day. And yet our daily routine is rarely something we are conscience of which literally makes it hidden from us. It's like commuting to work and not remembering how you got there because it's become rote. Our day to day activities pass unnoticed and we essentially fall into a walking slumber going through our daily motions. It would be devastating then to fully awaken one day horrified at where we ended up.

Here's something that I do to counter that danger and ensure that my day to day activities support my intended path: Once or twice each year I decide to break up my routine. Usually this happens on a weekend. I spend my day alone and in a manner that's unusual for me. If I've never gone to a particular library or coffee shop then I'll go there. While I'm there I review how I've spent my recent days. I ask myself if the actions I've been taking day to day are pushing or pulling me on my desired direction.

By being in a "strange" new surrounding my brain thinks differently. It's amazing how changing your surroundings and taking the time to simply ponder impacts your thought processes. This allows new ideas to come to the fore. That's precisely what happens when you go on vacation and why vacations are so important.

All these secrets, whether they are yours or your mentee's, are extraordinary ones to reveal with curiosity and amazement. Awaken yourself, discover and process them for they hold the keys to your future.

"The secret of your future is hidden in your daily routine."
                                                                - Mike Murdock

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Interviewing for a higher position

This question came in from a reader: "Do you have any advice for people interviewing for a higher level position (i.e. opportunity represents a promotion)?"

I have good news and I have bad news.

Let's start off with the bad news. But before I even do that let's set some context first. The hiring process from the employer's point of view is a dangerous one. It is a journey whose path is fraught with the possibility of making huge mistakes that could reverberate in an organization for years to come. Why? Because hiring the wrong person is nothing but destructive to the team, to the hiring manager and to revenue making potential. Furthermore it can take an excruciatingly long time to either coach that person up or move that person out. By default during the interview process hiring managers are looking for reasons not to hire someone. The candidate is guilty until proven innocent so to speak. As long as the position remains open a hiring manager hasn't made a mistake yet.

Given this perilous recruiting jungle a hiring manager will want to look for the best path to safety. That means hiring someone who they perceive has done the job already. Why take the risk of bringing on someone who from day one has to catch up in terms of understanding their role? [An aside: those stretch opportunities do exist typically when a company can't afford someone with experience for the role they have to fill. That has its own dangers for everyone involved but that's another posting.]

So the key to interviewing successfully in the "promotional situation" is to demonstrate to the greatest extent possible (while remaining 100% truthful) how you're already doing the job that you've applied for. Now for the bad news: if you haven't actually been in that role before this is difficult to do. It truly is hard to 'fake' it especially with an astute hiring manager.

About 12 years ago I was working with a recruiter who sent me on an interview for a fantastic, "promotional" opportunity. After the interview, which I thought went well, he contacted me. The feedback he had is that while I was a 'good guy' I didn't sound like a person at that next level. I asked him to elaborate. He tried to explain that I just didn't use the words, think about the things or answer the questions at a level that indicated readiness to move up. For example I was more tactical than strategic in my answers at the time. I was unhappy of course and quite frustrated too - as the adage goes: "you need to have the job to get the job". But they were right.

Now for the good news. Even if you aren't 100% ready you should go do the interview anyway. It will at the very least give you a sense of the types of questions hiring managers will ask when recruiting for that role. Pay close attention because you'll able to discern what you need to be thinking about and doing in your current job to better answer those questions the next time you are in this process.

Simply put, the way to get ready for the next job upwards is to be doing that job already in your current position. You have to do your current job and at the same time think about what someone the next level higher would be thinking about. And if it's possible do what someone the next level up would doing without stepping on anyone's toes - least of all your current manager's toes. You may find that your manager is happy they can delegate more of their work to you. This type of practice is the biggest key to success to further your career.

One additional suggestion: Find a mentor who already has the role you are seeking. That mentor will be able to give you a clear idea of their day to day work and advice of what you can already do to prepare.

Don't be afraid to go on that interview because:

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”–Wayne Gretzky