Mentoring = Networking

There's a saying "it's not what you know but who you know". Most people once they're in the working world for about 10 minutes realize that there's a lot of truth in there. The focus on "who you know", i.e. relationships, is not necessarily a bad thing though! There's another saying that fits in here too which is "The whole is greater than the sum of its parts". Well, that "whole" is achieved through teams and relationships.

Companies look for people who are "team players". This is especially pertinent in a global economy and a "greening" economy (where folks work from home in order to save gas and reduce pollution among other things). Your co-workers are less and less likely to be sitting physically around you and instead are much more geographically dispersed. Interpersonal skills that allow one to establish strong relationships quickly and through "restricted" means such as a telephone or video conference are significantly rising in value.

So what do you do with a mentee that is, to put it mildly, hesitant to reach out and network? You can't make an introvert into an extrovert surely but here are some things I've tried in the past that's met with success:

1. Suggest to that person to attend a public speaking class (if you are their actual manager then do more than suggest, send them!). This can be anything from a serious, multi-day formal training class where you practice giving speeches, get videotaped, receive feedback and try again to something like Toastmasters. (I love Toastmaster's tag line: "Because communication is not optional")

2. Along the lines of #1 someone can take acting or improvisational classes. The point of these classes is to give someone a safe place to practice communicating in uncomfortable situations. The better they get and the more confident they get at these key skills the more open they'll be to building relationships and the better they'll be at it too! I've really seen this work.

3. Linkedin - you are reading this blog so chances are high you already know about linkedin. It's the professional's facebook if you will. It allows one to get a great start at networking while avoiding the initial discomfort of reaching out. It also helps you target who to network/build relationships with given a certain purpose (like wanting to work for a particular company).

4. For someone that is uncomfortable networking because it feels like they are "selling themselves" I suggest to them to reframe the interaction as their own "mentoring" opportunity. I say to them: "Don't look at it like you are networking to help yourself instead reach out and look for ways you can help that other person." Sure helping others is a good way to build relationships but it's also just good karma. Pay it forward, so to speak.

5. Lastly I remind people that networking is not necessarily a one-to-many activity. For example, there are people who go to a party and stand there in a large group telling stories and making friends. But it doesn't have to be like that to be a positive experience. One can also go to a party and just interact with a few good folks one on one and one at a time. This makes this issue of networking feel a bit more scoped down, personal and achievable to those shier among us.

Hopefully you've found some useful suggestions in this posting to encourage your mentees to get out there and start building relationships/networking! If you have other thoughts or suggestions please send them along.