tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-56204069972659095942024-03-13T13:02:39.591-07:00On MentoringSeeking to inspire people to become mentors or mentees for both career and personal growth.On Mentoringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06698771203943871003noreply@blogger.comBlogger125125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620406997265909594.post-30184038133494518352020-04-19T06:49:00.000-07:002020-04-19T06:54:43.068-07:00Mentoring in a Quarantined World<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It has been quite a while since I last posted simply because I felt I had said everything I wanted to say on the topic of mentoring. My passion for mentoring has not dwindled at all. In fact, it has only increased. Instead of blogging, I've spent the past 18 months co-launching a peer mentoring program for technology leaders, created content around building mentoring programs and continued to mentor and be mentored myself. </div>
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What moves me to post today is a strong desire to inspire folks impacted by the coronavirus pandemic (which basically means, everyone) to take advantage of a golden opportunity: most, if not all, of your potential mentors and mentees are spending significant time sheltering in place. And many of these same folks are looking to make connections, maintain communication and find some way to contribute to the world. This is an excellent time to reach out in an appropriate, social distancing fashion and ask someone you've admired if they'd be interested in being your mentor.</div>
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If you are a mentor, or have ever considered becoming one, offering to share your experiences and guide individuals who may be in a career crisis right now is a priceless way of giving back to the community and helping out during this unprecedented situation. </div>
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Technology has brought the world closer together. My own mentoring sessions are all done now via video conference. The transition has been seamless. Sure, it may be a bit challenging to start a new mentoring relationship over video conference but it's not impossible. It may take just a little longer to solidify the connection than if you could start out in person with each other. This shouldn't prevent anyone from giving it a try. And if video conferencing isn't your thing, I've conducted countless successful sessions by phone.</div>
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This is an exceptionally good and unique time to get into mentoring. I hope you seriously consider it. Most importantly, stay healthy and safe! </div>
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“We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.” </blockquote>
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<i>― Winston Churchill</i></blockquote>
On Mentoringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06698771203943871003noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620406997265909594.post-65598857621376877152019-02-10T18:36:00.000-08:002019-02-10T18:36:16.418-08:00Balance<br />
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"Balance is not something you find, it's something you create." <i>- Jana Kingsford</i></blockquote>
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A mentee once asked me: <i>"What is the right work/life balance? How do you find it and how do you maintain it?"</i><br />
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These types of questions seem more pressing these days. Perhaps it's because we hear that millennials value work/life balance very highly (presumably after seeing the sacrifices their parents made). Balance is a great and important topic indeed. There are no straightforward answers to these questions. And that's not necessarily a bad thing.<br />
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We all have our passions, our limits, our frustrations and our ambitions. What are you willing to trade to get what you <i>need</i>? What are you willing to trade to get what you <i>want</i>?<br />
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My belief is that the right work/life balance is a very individual and very personal mix. I'm certain we'll find an entrepreneur's perspective of work/life balance is quite different from an actor's or from a police officer's or from a single mom of 3, etc.<br />
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As the quote at the beginning states - it's more about creating the right balance for yourself rather than finding it. This is a crucial difference in the way of thinking about the answer to the question because <i>creating </i>it implies you have to take action. It is not some magical equilibrium point you're supposed to discover. You have the power and the responsibility to figure out what it means in your life. Whether you are intentional about it or not, you are at some mix of work/life activity right now. This mix is impacting your career trajectory, your income and your personal relationships. And even when you are intentional and do define it, that point will evolve over time.<br />
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So how do you know that you've achieved the 'right' balance? By honestly answering this question to yourself: <b>Are you happy?</b><br />
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It is as simple as that. You will know the answer. What you need to do is to pay attention to that answer, and if it's not the result you desire then take action to re-balance.<br />
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Amazon's immensely successful CEO Jeff Bezos said: "I get asked about work/life balance all the time. And my view is, that's a debilitating phrase because it implies there's a strict trade-off. It actually is a circle. It's not a balance."<br />
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That may be the right framing for him. But he makes it sound like he's not making any tradeoffs. I doubt that. I disagree that his advice is widely applicable or that one can avoid making tough choices.<br />
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In the end, it's a prioritization exercise. As we evolve throughout our lives, those choices we make will likely evolve with us. It's critical to check in with yourself and <i>challenge the path you are on</i>. Periodically ask yourself if you're happy. Don't fall asleep with choices a younger version of yourself made.<br />
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Because if you're asleep, it's impossible to keep your balance.<br />
<br />On Mentoringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06698771203943871003noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620406997265909594.post-57870388202182849912018-12-24T13:41:00.003-08:002018-12-24T13:41:50.572-08:00Happy New Year - The Magic of Beginnings<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It’s been quite a while since I’ve authored any postings. I’m grateful to have received a number of queries as to when my next article would be published here or on my blog and why it’s been on a long pause. Put simply, I only want to put something out there if I have something unique to say or something to say in a unique way. There’s certainly so much content floating around on our newsfeeds – it seems most everyone is in the business of sharing advice. And that’s great. For me, I don’t want to publish just to publish. In my case I’m glad that posting articles is done as my passion and not the way I earn my living. Being a champion for mentoring and helping out with thoughts about career development is one of the ways I feel I can give back to the world.<br />
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Sometimes I’ll have a topic in mind or someone suggests something they’d like my perspective on and within a day or two I’ll see it covered in my LinkedIn feed. I may ‘like’ or share that article if I feel strongly about it. Couple my avoiding 'duplication' with the fact that I am an active mentor and mentee myself and I’m dissuaded from adding to all that’s out there.<br />
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There are still compelling things to write about and articles that are in the process of being crafted. Over the years my conversations with my amazing mentees and mentors have offered me many ideas. I’d like to generalize/anonymize those and share them with you. So stay tuned…<br />
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In the meantime as we approach the end of 2018 I wanted to take this opportunity to thank you for your readership and feedback. Your feedback is very important to me and helps to guide me on what to write about and how to present it. I wish you and your families and friends the most joyous and peaceful of holiday seasons.<br />
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And may you be surrounded by the magic of new beginnings in this New Year!<br />
<br />On Mentoringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06698771203943871003noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620406997265909594.post-32325861498106922752017-08-20T21:18:00.001-07:002017-08-20T21:18:39.770-07:00Sorkin Screenwriting<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPbj_SDSlN9W9kak7bIAbitqXmhKBDOlDQ8HM9g9KwyoUf02wWdejnFAiUpmpgGj-VjCNj9iphBO2jydq2x60K7fg8rz4rHorgg4Skh4-_icHWEUoSS03rLueEXlgIigklZ_e_NFxo8ulZ/s1600/Aaron_Sorkin_at_PaleyFest_2013.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="768" data-original-width="512" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPbj_SDSlN9W9kak7bIAbitqXmhKBDOlDQ8HM9g9KwyoUf02wWdejnFAiUpmpgGj-VjCNj9iphBO2jydq2x60K7fg8rz4rHorgg4Skh4-_icHWEUoSS03rLueEXlgIigklZ_e_NFxo8ulZ/s320/Aaron_Sorkin_at_PaleyFest_2013.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo from: <a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/idominick/" target="_blank">Dominick D</a></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;">"<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;">Whether it's 'The West Wing' or anything else, my first thought is always, 'What's a good story?'</span>"</span><i><span style="font-size: large;">- Aaron Sorkin</span></i></span></blockquote>
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A few months ago I stumbled on a set of online class offerings from a company called <a href="https://www.masterclass.com/" target="_blank">Masterclass</a>. These courses cover a variety of subjects and are taught by recognized 'masters' in their respective fields. Steve Martin teaches comedy, Frank Gehry teaches architecture, Kevin Spacey teaches acting and so on.<br />
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Then I saw one on screenwriting by Aaron Sorkin - a supremely accomplished, award-winning writer and storyteller - and was instantly drawn to it.<br />
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Screenwriting is the act of writing a screenplay or script. A script includes dialog, actions and directions for telling <b>a story</b> in an entertainment medium such as film, tv or plays.</div>
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Human beings love to hear and tell stories. This is not a revelation. In fact there may even be scientific proof behind how and why humans are optimized for storytelling (and 'storylistening' I suppose) as this <a href="https://hbr.org/2014/10/why-your-brain-loves-good-storytelling" target="_blank">Harvard Business Review article</a> discusses. It's just neurobiology...</div>
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There are many quotes on this subject too: <i>"People don't remember statistics (data), they remember stories."</i> Maya Angelou said <i>“At the end of the day people won't remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel.” </i>Story is an impactful way to communicate meaning and feeling to our fellow humans.</div>
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Even successful blog posts, ones that have gone 'viral', are the ones that tell a story - usually a very personal one. On my OnMentoring blog I've written that when <a href="http://onmentoring.blogspot.com/2011/02/interviewing-tell-story-how-to-guide.html" target="_blank">interviewing for your next role</a> you need to be ready to tell your stories. Don't just list out your accomplishments. It's vital to have a narrative for your achievements. What did you struggle with and how did you overcome? What did you learn in those struggles on your way to achieving your successes? Those tales will most certainly increase the chances for a successful outcome.</div>
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So when I saw Aaron Sorkin's class on screenwriting pop up I immediately registered. Aaron Sorkin has written some of the most powerful and moving scripts the world has seen - from movies such as "A Few Good Men" to TV shows such as "The West Wing".</div>
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Sorkin teaches that the core of any story must have two things: Intention and Obstacle. Intention is simply about your protagonist wanting <i>something</i>. An Obstacle (or two or three) is the barrier he/she encounters along the way to obtaining that <i>something</i>. The more intense the Intention, the more pressure to get to the <i>something</i> and the more imposing the Obstacle the better the story you'll tell. Not a single one of us escapes each day without having something we desire and obstacles that attempt to prevent us from achieving those desires.<br />
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I cannot convey in a single posting all that I've been absorbing watching this master describe concepts and techniques. I can say without equivocation that this course is fantastic and recommended.<br />
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I have zero plans to write any movies, plays or TV scripts in the near future....but stories...I tell them every day. We all need stories as they help us to partner with customers, inspire our teams, teach our friends/relatives/loved ones and, frankly, to make life that much more interesting. Even the mundane can be made intriguing in the hands of an eloquent storyteller. So any way to increase one's skills in this area is worth the journey.</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">"Stories, more even than stars or spectacle, are still the currency of life." <i>- <a href="http://www.newyorker.com/books/page-turner/can-science-explain-why-we-tell-stories" target="_blank">Adam Gopnik</a></i></span></blockquote>
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On Mentoringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06698771203943871003noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620406997265909594.post-27820700806536862482017-03-19T21:41:00.000-07:002017-03-19T21:41:57.705-07:00Stretch Opportunities - Promise and Peril<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Image by <a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/mikebaird/" target="_blank">Mike Baird </a>under the <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/" target="_blank">Creative Commons license</a></td></tr>
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Two years ago I wrote a post entitled "<a href="http://onmentoring.blogspot.com/2014/12/interviewing-for-higher-position.html" target="_blank">Interviewing for a higher position</a>" where I shared some background and tips for anyone about to undertake that endeavor. An excerpt:<br />
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<i>Given this perilous recruiting jungle a hiring manager will want to look for the best path to safety. That means hiring someone who they perceive has done the job already. Why take the risk of bringing on someone who from day one has to catch up in terms of understanding their role? [An aside: those <b>stretch opportunities</b> do exist typically when a company can't afford someone with experience for the role they have to fill. That has its own dangers for everyone involved but that's another posting.]</i></blockquote>
And with that I'd like to elaborate on the promises and perils of those stretch opportunities as I have experience with them on both sides of the hiring process. I define a <b>stretch opportunity</b> as a position given to someone which is significantly beyond their current knowledge or skill level.<br />
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It's important to recognize that stretch opportunities almost always occur when something negative has happened - a hiring manager has been unable to find a suitable candidate for an open position. Occasionally a hiring manager will create a stretch role for a specific employee that they want to grow. While that's a <i>very </i>positive reason, in those cases you won't be interviewing for those spots because the person has been pre-selected.<br />
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There are a myriad of reasons why a company can't find "the right person" including but not limited to, in no particular order:<br />
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<li>inability to pay market salary</li>
<li>lack of talent in the target geography</li>
<li>unreasonable expectations (for example, candidate must be awesomely strategic and yet be able to jump in at a moment's notice to be extremely detail oriented, etc. etc.)</li>
<li>internal company disagreement on what type of candidate they need or if they even really need the role filled</li>
<li>it's a startup and everyone takes on multiple roles</li>
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When this situation arises a company decides to compromise on one or more of the attributes they were initially designating as a requirement. The good news for the candidate applying to the job is that this gives them a foot in the door. And this is the first promise of a stretch role - the chance to prove oneself during the interview process.<br />
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Of course the greatest promise of such a position is if the candidate wins the role and gets exposed to a new set of responsibilities, challenges and duties. It'll be uncomfortable at first but that's proof that there is space to grow.<br />
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So what of the perils?<br />
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There are many. For starters when a hiring manager compromises there will be a nagging feeling that the right person is still out there somewhere. The temptation to continue the search could cause the company not to invest in their new hire (you) nearly as much as they should.<br />
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Another peril lies in the possibility of lower compensation. Why is the company unable to pay market salary? It could be because they are in financial distress or not optimistic about their future. Or perhaps they don't understand what the market requires to successfully recruit the best individual. All this is bad news. The danger here is that a successful candidate, once proven in the role, will forever be at a salary disadvantage because they started off so low.<br />
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If it's unreasonable expectations that caused them to settle it's unlikely the situation will improve. The candidate will be stepping into a role where their leadership will never be happy no matter how much they've hit it out of the park. This is survivable but will it be fun long term?<br />
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The bottom line is that it's admirable to go for and accept stretch opportunities. Sometimes it's the only way to grow one's career. Just do so with eyes wide open by asking plenty of questions during and after the interview process. Make sure you understand what they compromised on so you can be alert for it and attempt to mitigate it as you grow into your new role.<br />
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Good luck!</div>
On Mentoringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06698771203943871003noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620406997265909594.post-26926875660048710612016-11-06T15:13:00.000-08:002017-03-24T06:30:46.665-07:00Focus on Strengths<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I recently participated in a team reflection/personal development activity at work called StrengthsFinder which made me think about taking that idea into the mentoring realm. (<i>Note: this is not an endorsement of that particular product or methodology - just part of the story</i>).<br />
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The gist of StrengthsFinder is that instead of focusing on areas where one is weak, find and focus on areas where one is <b>strong </b>and make those <b>stronger</b>. You want to stand out in an area you are already good at and are passionate about.<br />
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The belief is that you can become much more valuable to your organization if you are known as an expert in a particular domain or skill. If you just work on your weaker areas and bring that up to average then you'll be exactly that - average. It takes so much energy to improve areas that are not interesting to you. Why do it only to become one of the crowd?<br />
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Typically mentoring conversations are focused on areas the mentee would like to improve or change. That's natural - one wants to find a safe place in which to discuss challenges and vulnerabilities because the world of work rarely presents that kind of environment. As a mentor it's important from time to time to reflect on the areas that are going well for the mentee to see if those can be improved even further. Success most certainly breeds success.<br />
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For example, I had a mentee who was mortally afraid of public speaking but was actually very skilled at teaching technical concepts one on one. I suggested worrying less about the lack of public speaking ability for the time being and concentrate on coaching individuals that sought him out for help completing their projects. Sure enough by the following year he was well positioned for a promotion from lead to manager precisely because he was viewed as an expert in his field. He became the "go to" person which is often what one looks for in a good leader. I'm not saying that public speaking is not a critical skill - it is! I venture that by focusing on his strength it led to a greater outcome than if he just developed into an adequate public speaker.<br />
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Most people work in teams. In an ideal situation the team would contain a set of individuals with a diverse set of strengths. This skill diversity equips the team to successfully handle a wide variety of challenges it will inevitably face. Everyone on the team does not have to be great at everything. That's not possible in any case.<br />
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It's a lot more fun to work on something you feel you are already good at and enjoy rather than toil away in an area of fear or disinterest. And it could lead to the type of recognition amongst peers and leaders that allow you to shine.<br />
<br />On Mentoringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06698771203943871003noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620406997265909594.post-60760305717815364322016-10-02T16:48:00.000-07:002016-10-02T16:48:06.738-07:00Matchmakers? To Match or Not To Match<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>This posting is primarily targeted to those who seek to create or improve on an existing mentoring program.</i><br />
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When companies start to create formal mentoring programs they typically struggle with these questions:<br />
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<li>Should a formal mentoring program be expected to match mentors and mentees or simply give guidance? </li>
<li>What type of information should be collected in order to make the best match suggestions? </li>
<li>If a formal matching process is undertaken should those matches be forced for some period of time? </li>
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There are strong opinions on all sides. After many years as a mentor, a mentee and as someone that's helped launch and run these programs I too have ideas which I'd like to share.<br />
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A core part of my philosophy around mentoring is that the onus is always on the mentee/protégé. It is ultimately best if the mentee develops a candidate mentor list, approaches those candidates and, once selected, drive the ongoing agenda of the mentoring conversations.<br />
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Matching can take a lot of time and resources on a company's part. There is data to collect, time constraints, tracking of communication, sensitivities to be aware of, etc. etc. So when Organizational Development professionals from various companies or universities approach me about how to lower the cost of the matching process in their mentoring programs my answer is simple: <i>Don't match! Your cost will be zero!</i><br />
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I would much rather have programs spend their precious resources coaching prospective mentees in <a href="http://onmentoring.blogspot.com/2010/09/tips-for-asking-someone-to-be-your.html" target="_blank">developing the skills of finding a mentor</a> rather than doing the matching. I'm also supportive of company mentoring programs helping to reach out to candidate mentors, such as executives, on behalf of mentees as executives are typically individuals who are difficult to contact.<br />
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Another huge benefit of handing the process back to prospective mentees is the ownership they'll need to take and ultimately feel during the process. It weeds out folks who aren't serious about mentoring and wouldn't benefit very much in any case.<br />
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If a formal mentoring program is going to match mentors with mentees the most important information to collect is:<br />
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<ul>
<li><i>From the mentee</i>: What are they looking to get out of the mentoring relationship? Is there a particular skill they are looking for or is it about more general career or life guidance? </li>
<li><i>From the mentor:</i> What types of skills are they strong in (for example: public speaking, networking, communication, leadership, etc.) and can offer guidance on to prospective mentees? What qualities in a mentee would they like to see to increase the chances of a successful relationship?</li>
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Answers to these questions will provide critical clues in any matching endeavor. </div>
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Finally, on the question of forcing matches - I'm completely against forcing matches even if a formal mentoring program has taken all the time and care in the world to figure out the best opportunity. I've known mentors and mentees in these situations where they were simply told to "figure it out" for 6 months or longer by their companies. If two people sense that it's not going to work they should be honest as early as possible and respectfully move on to other possible mentors/mentees. </div>
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I hope these ideas were useful. I'm happy to answer questions or discuss any aspects of mentoring programs. Just contact me via email or the "Ask a Question" link on my site <a href="http://onmentoring.info/">OnMentoring.info</a></div>
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On Mentoringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06698771203943871003noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620406997265909594.post-56978447842931281632016-05-15T19:31:00.000-07:002016-05-15T19:31:39.565-07:00Emerson's Success<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_70qo_7yh4QYscG93NF78IoTBf0PSrLxzXes4oZpHBshfJIV-_BRwokb71YzEki1eyU3KIZllRQ_EXiClINGa97uGYVsoBlEEhWeMw2oLJjUOoAKCI4WhP6Q5vzPPzmc1l5rm6T0EwOMv/s1600/IMG_6699.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_70qo_7yh4QYscG93NF78IoTBf0PSrLxzXes4oZpHBshfJIV-_BRwokb71YzEki1eyU3KIZllRQ_EXiClINGa97uGYVsoBlEEhWeMw2oLJjUOoAKCI4WhP6Q5vzPPzmc1l5rm6T0EwOMv/s320/IMG_6699.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo credit: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/onmentoring/" target="_blank">Alan Saporta</a></td></tr>
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<b>Ralph Waldo Emerson</b>, whose birthday of May 25th is coming up soon, was a key figure in a philosophical group known as the American <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transcendentalism" target="_blank">Transcendentalists</a>. This group believed deeply in the <b>power of the individual. </b>It posited that every person could <i>transcend</i> the physical world to reach deeper spiritual insights and experiences.<br />
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One of my most favorite pieces ever written is a short poem often attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson on success:<br />
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To laugh often and much;</div>
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To win the respect of intelligent people</div>
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and the affection of children;</div>
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To earn the appreciation of honest critics</div>
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and endure the betrayal of false friends;</div>
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To appreciate beauty;</div>
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To find the best in others;</div>
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To leave the world a bit better, whether by</div>
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a healthy child, a garden patch</div>
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or a redeemed social condition;</div>
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<b><b>To know even one life has breathed</b></b></div>
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<b>easier because you have lived;</b></div>
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<b>This is to have succeeded.</b></div>
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<i><i>- Ralph Waldo Emerson</i></i><span style="text-align: left;"> </span></div>
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I'm often asked by mentees about <b>success</b>: how to be successful, different types of success, why is everyone else apparently successful but them, etc. I've often pointed to this piece as an answer and a masterful guide on the topic.<br />
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I'll end this post with a focus on the last two lines that hold the most meaning for me. Those phrases can so eloquently be used to explain why I am passionate about mentoring. When you've taken someone under your wing you have invariably helped them breathe easier.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3D7sH1COuRJqfaKqk7OVgn6TwgV5meO6Tqal7eeuWvtB5cluaFJPN2Cg58HojyI12jQtSnC-8au1H5qlqC8OKfW0MOcVePu8UJWsM2ZEcbU5fAQeOkGZ1FhyphenhyphenRmSH85M6LD5KepzCoBBts/s1600/Ralph_Waldo_Emerson_ca1857_retouched.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3D7sH1COuRJqfaKqk7OVgn6TwgV5meO6Tqal7eeuWvtB5cluaFJPN2Cg58HojyI12jQtSnC-8au1H5qlqC8OKfW0MOcVePu8UJWsM2ZEcbU5fAQeOkGZ1FhyphenhyphenRmSH85M6LD5KepzCoBBts/s320/Ralph_Waldo_Emerson_ca1857_retouched.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File%3ARalph_Waldo_Emerson_ca1857_retouched.jpg" target="_blank">Public domain <br />via Wikimedia Commons</a></td></tr>
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On Mentoringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06698771203943871003noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620406997265909594.post-84926222844427435762016-05-01T23:21:00.000-07:002016-05-01T23:21:32.729-07:00Separating the Idea from the Person<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;">"Be less curious about people and more curious about ideas." <i>– Marie Curie</i></span></div>
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A mentee of mine comes running into my office unannounced in as frustrated a mood as I've ever seen him. He quickly apologizes for the intrusion and said he really needs my help. (While my mentoring meetings are always scheduled, those I mentor have a standing invitation to reach out to me should something urgent arise in between our sessions). I immediately invite him to sit down at the round table in the front of my office, ask him to take a couple of deep breaths first and then let me know what's going on.</div>
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Angrily he plunges right into discussing someone that we've discussed several times in the past. This person, one of his work colleagues, and my mentee are often forced to work with each other on critical projects. Unfortunately they both don't see eye to eye on a myriad of topics and harbor a significant amount of mutual disrespect.</div>
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After several minutes of a breathless, complaining monologue where he describes in detail their latest disagreement I ask him if all he needed to do was vent to me or was he open to some guidance? This question gave him pause and he started to calm down. "Guidance" was the curt response.</div>
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With that I started to probe into the disagreement with several questions only to discover that the idea my mentee's adversary was proposing was not half bad. And so I focused the next several minutes of our conversation just examining the idea divorcing it from its source. It only took a few minutes more for my mentee to come to that same conclusion - the idea was in fact a good one. Yet he struggled and was still hesitant to admit that or implement the suggestion. What was the barrier he was up against? Simply that the suggestion came from his "difficult to work" with colleague. My mentee was in a place where if it came from that person the idea couldn't possibly be good. Or perhaps he didn't want to give his adversary the satisfaction of agreeing with him.</div>
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I asked my mentee one simple, final question: "If you implement this idea will it help you?". He answered "yes" without hesitation to which I replied: "Then what difference does it really make where the suggestion comes from? You will be a far better, stronger and successful person if you can implement good ideas no matter the origin. <b>Separate the idea from the person and examine it on its own merits</b>." He agreed and left in a calmer and more productive mood.</div>
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If we can approach the thoughts, suggestions and advice we receive throughout our day in an objective fashion, test those ideas and utilize them to our own benefit we will be in a much better position than not having been exposed to those ideas. We can turn those we perceive as adversaries into collaborators. And perhaps even one day turn those collaborators into long-term partners and friends.</div>
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"The best way to have a good idea is to have a lot of ideas." <i>- Linus Pauling</i></blockquote>
Per Pauling's quote, if the best way to have a good idea is to have lots of them then why ever reject any idea simply because of its source?On Mentoringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06698771203943871003noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620406997265909594.post-4582547649365497052016-03-01T23:25:00.001-08:002016-03-01T23:25:45.427-08:00Peter Drucker's Quote and the 7 Rules of Applied Leadership<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">"Only three things happen naturally in organizations: friction, confusion, and underperformance. Everything else requires leadership."<i> - Peter Drucker</i></span></div>
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Are things in the work world really as dire as in that quote? Didn't human society evolve from the realization that community and cooperation brought more benefit than detriment to each individual as part of a greater whole? And if the first part of this quote is indeed true then what does <b>leadership </b>in the work environment really mean?<br />
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I've had the good fortune and have benefited from working at many companies in my career. These organizations included some that were big and some that were small, some well known and some just starting up, some domestic and some global and located in 3 different major metropolitan geographies. I've also had mentees from these and many other companies and places. Based on the what I've witnessed myself and gathered from all these sources I reluctantly (and unfortunately) agree that there is a lot of truth in the Drucker quote. Why is that the case? And how does leadership help?<br />
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To answer these questions we need to first examine why friction, confusion and underperformance occur in the first place. Then see what steps are part of applied leadership (for what is leadership if it is not <i>applied</i> - impelling action in some form). Leadership is more than just a balm but a catalyst that creates a far more desirable, productive, high performance work environment.<br />
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I cannot cover in a single blog post all the reasons why there is organizational dysfunction. For simplicity sake I will keep the explanation very high level: <i>People come to work with a variety of motivations and understandings that often compete with one another.</i><br />
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I realize I'm making sweeping generalizations for the sake of brevity. Here are some examples of competing themes that often are at play at work:<br />
<ol>
<li>Team members don't have the same understanding of the company vision or mission.</li>
<li>Team members that have the same understanding of the company vision and mission will disagree on what steps to take to achieve that vision.</li>
<li>Some people aim to extract from the world the maximal benefit for the minimal effort.</li>
<li>Others will give up benefits in order to enjoy the path of least resistance. (i.e. people who are 'lazy').</li>
<li>Many companies want to extract the maximum productivity from workers for the absolute minimal cost.</li>
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And the list goes on and on. All these motivations existing in one place are in direct contention thus causing friction and confusion between people in that place. For example, if one person's desire to do less work causes someone else to do more work than they perceive is fair and both these individuals perform at a lower quality for a higher cost than the company wants to bear you are guaranteed friction.<br />
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What does <i>applying leadership</i> in order to have a highly functioning team mean?<br />
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It means the following:<br />
<ol>
<li>Successfully inspiring individuals to see their part in delivering on a greater, unified, well understood vision and mission.</li>
<li>Demonstrating that cooperation, while sometimes sub-optimal in the short term for certain individuals, will benefit all in the long term.</li>
<li>Communicating clearly. Listening deeply. Being decisive.</li>
<li>Hiring great people and coaxing greatness out of those already there.</li>
<li>Granting autonomy while creating a safe space for making and learning from mistakes.</li>
<li>Tirelessly seeking to improve.</li>
<li>Celebrating successes.</li>
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There are of course many other important qualities of a good leader such as interpersonal skills, persuasiveness, etc. I've only listed the ones that are particularly important to overcoming Peter Drucker's naturally occurring dysfunction. All these steps take <b>a lot</b> of work.</div>
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By doing whatever is necessary to create and communicate a common mission, instilling a sense of "the whole is greater than the sum of its parts" and explicitly expecting greatness from every single person on your entire team you as a leader (and frankly, every single person on a team can be a 'leader') will significantly reduce confusion and underperformance. Friction will melt away...<br />
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Perhaps the existence of this type of environment is the true measure of a great leader.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">"A good leader leads the people from above them. A <b>great leader</b> leads the people from <b>within </b>them." <i>- M. D. Arnold</i></span></blockquote>
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On Mentoringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06698771203943871003noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620406997265909594.post-90966592942438788472015-09-29T00:06:00.002-07:002015-09-29T00:06:47.624-07:00How to deal with a difficult person<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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Conflict is a part of life. Whether in our personal or business lives we encounter people that we find 'difficult'. We may characterize this type of problem simply and say "we just don't see eye to eye". Or perhaps we may feel that this person was put on this earth simply to make our lives utterly miserable.<br />
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Sometimes we can brush this troublesome person aside in our minds and focus on other things. But usually, especially in a work setting where your success depends on this individual, it can lead to great stress. A lot of my mentoring conversations involve helping mentees deal with one or more difficult people they regularly encounter.<br />
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I have one useful tool to suggest that will either resolve the conflict or at least oftentimes lessen its impact. That tool is <b>empathy </b>- the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.<br />
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Seth Godin recently posted a wonderful article on the subject. It's quite short and worth the read - <a href="http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2015/08/empathy.html" target="_blank">click here</a>. Seth posits that deciding another person's actions are motivated by stupidity or evilness is rarely helpful. Instead it's far more useful to focus on the context of the situation and the motivation of the person you're dealing with.<br />
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Let me quote from that article: <i>"If you want to know why someone does what they do, start with what they know, what they believe and where they came from."</i><br />
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The amount of conflict with another being is inversely proportional to your understanding of that being. You don't have to agree with that individual. That's ok. Just seek to understand - always. It's unlikely to change that person's behavior but it will put a far less vexing frame around them in your mind. And over time that mental reframing alone may transform that difficult person into an ally.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">"The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend." </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>- Abraham Lincoln</i> </span></div>
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On Mentoringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06698771203943871003noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620406997265909594.post-68251604867230576842015-06-23T22:31:00.000-07:002015-06-23T22:31:39.042-07:00Roll the Bones<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;">"Why does it happen? </span><span style="font-size: large;">Because it happens.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Roll the bones." <i>- Neil Peart</i></span></div>
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In many mentoring conversations and blog posts I've discussed issues around the weighty topics of luck and fairness. Whether the subject is about a mentee being passed over for a promotion, enduring job interview rejection or having a perceived inability to be a natural born speaker or leader - ultimately the individual wants to understand <i>why </i>things are the way they are and could they have done <i>something </i>to prevent whatever pain they are currently experiencing. Could they have taken less risks? Could they have studied more? Could they have been better networkers? Or has it all already been decided by a force out of their control?</div>
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The question of "why?" is one of the most enigmatic and motivational questions of the human race. Scientists use that question to drive themselves to devise experiments to explain what they observe in the world. Clergy use that question to drive the faithful even closer to their faith. Teachers use that question to open minds. Many times politicians use that question to close minds.</div>
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I am neither politician nor clergy. If anything I aspire to be a part-time teacher through mentoring. I cannot even begin to answer that question for my mentees in a truly meaningful way. But what I can do is wonder along with them if that question even matters.</div>
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"Bones" is a slang term for dice. In fact "dice" were originally made from the ankle bones of certain animals and called "knucklebones" leading to that nickname. Dice have been used since before recorded history most often in games of chance. Humans, it appears, have had a very long and romantic relationship with the concept of luck. It's all fun and games until it's not.<br />
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If you've been reading this blog you'll know I'm a big believer in someone's ability to "make their own luck". I've often offered many quotes along the lines of "luck happens when preparation meets opportunity". All still true but what happens if, for example, opportunity never comes knocking? Bad luck. I believe you can minimize the influence of luck but you can't eliminate it completely. And when luck happens "to" you then you need to deal with it the best you can. "Why did it happen?" is no longer a question that matters. It happened. The sooner you deal with the situation at hand and plot your course for a better future the sooner you've worked to minimize the impact of luck.<br />
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Bad luck is also not a reason to avoid rolling the dice, trying new things or taking a risk. Other very famous and very powerful quotes remind us: "nothing ventured, nothing gained" and "if you've never made a mistake then you've never tried anything new" [Einstein].<br />
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Dealing with bad luck, making mistakes, taking risks in search of greater rewards is all part of the human experience and that's all reason enough. "Why?" isn't a question that can always be answered or even always needs to be answered. "It is what it is" as they say.<br />
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I wish you all a heart full of courage to persevere no matter the situation and a world full of good luck!<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">"Why are we here? </span><span style="font-size: large;">Because we're here.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Roll the bones." <i>- Neil Peart</i></span></div>
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On Mentoringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06698771203943871003noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620406997265909594.post-34888368235654311512015-04-12T18:10:00.001-07:002015-04-12T19:43:23.481-07:00Not What Ships Are For<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj-xUarc2IG3XzHgaJyMizKzNyCfBsudc7PAQlWCdVb-kckBZkwCe6IfsJ8SVvlXGevtvb37t2S66N7DGhXDuusudeOl2HKd5qEHCWMb7OCZncMws8tGp1fGzLgziO_VzOtC60-LYaCzNF/s1600/IMAG0200-003.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj-xUarc2IG3XzHgaJyMizKzNyCfBsudc7PAQlWCdVb-kckBZkwCe6IfsJ8SVvlXGevtvb37t2S66N7DGhXDuusudeOl2HKd5qEHCWMb7OCZncMws8tGp1fGzLgziO_VzOtC60-LYaCzNF/s1600/IMAG0200-003.jpg" height="320" width="319" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo credit: <a href="https://instagram.com/onmentoring/" target="_blank">Alan Saporta</a></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">“A ship is safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are for.” </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> <i> - John A. Shedd</i></span></div>
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When explaining what mentoring consists of my definition always begins with: "it's a set of conversations between two people who trust each other". I am reminded of one of my most favorite quotes about conversations courtesy of Susan Scott:</div>
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"While no single conversation is guaranteed to change the trajectory of a career, a business, or a life—any conversation can." - <i>Susan Scott</i></blockquote>
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I would posit that mentoring conversations have a far higher chance of impacting a life precisely because a mentor creates a safe "harbor" for the mentee to ideate, question, learn, experiment, vent and validate. In the end however the entire point of these conversations is for the mentee to sail back out into that dangerous sea full of possibility and promise.<br />
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Ships do need to dock in a harbor to do business, for repairs and to onboard personnel and provisions. The harbor is a good place to reassess and recalibrate risk but not to the point of inaction. And what is usually the reason for a person's inaction? Quite simply: <b>fear</b>.<br />
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Mentoring conversations in a safe space are a good partial antidote. It sets up a foundation for the mentee to conquer their fear. The ultimate <b>cure </b>to <b>fear </b>is to build up the courage and take the risk <a href="http://bit.ly/gl2t0W" target="_blank">(what's the worst that can happen?</a>). The way I help my mentees do that is to remind them that their risk-taking will either lead to success or learning - both positive outcomes. By framing "mistakes" as "opportunities to learn" it takes much (though not necessarily all) of the sting out of trying something and getting an undesirable result.<br />
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Some may argue that not all "undesirable results" are equal. Some possible results may be quite difficult to contemplate and deal with. And I agree that not all risks are worth blindly taking. When a risk is identified to act on that is both highly impactful and has a high chance of resulting in something very unpleasant I work with the mentee to figure out ways to fail/learn quickly and as cheaply as possible to minimize damage. A little extra thought here goes a long way to saving pain later on. Those types of risks are also ones that benefit from developing a backup plan or two.<br />
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So think <b>positively</b>, be <b>courageous</b>, have a back up plan if necessary, take control of the ship and <b>sail </b>it into the ocean to explore new and wondrous shores.</div>
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On Mentoringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06698771203943871003noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620406997265909594.post-80125493730685820982015-03-09T23:08:00.000-07:002015-03-09T23:08:21.519-07:00Independence<div style="text-align: center;">
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhguiOU7LQwuvAv2UUnROtqP6b6qkmviErZ8JcloAHTiZqocwlLTckn7tkFV0a8iTkEdLoBhAC0ScB8jQkaElAXWxUz0AuNh7ARQRpzci_Yp-5lFblNUsBCUKcMXb8Jk2pldkaz-jN3q64z/s1600/1024px-Independence_Town_Sign.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhguiOU7LQwuvAv2UUnROtqP6b6qkmviErZ8JcloAHTiZqocwlLTckn7tkFV0a8iTkEdLoBhAC0ScB8jQkaElAXWxUz0AuNh7ARQRpzci_Yp-5lFblNUsBCUKcMXb8Jk2pldkaz-jN3q64z/s1600/1024px-Independence_Town_Sign.jpg" height="222" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Image credit: <b style="background-color: #f9f9f9; font-family: sans-serif; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><span class="licensetpl_attr"><a class="extiw" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Fpound" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;" title="en:User:Fpound"><span style="color: blue;">Fpound</span></a><span style="color: #252525;"> at the </span><a class="extiw" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;" title="en:"><span style="color: blue;">English language Wikipedia</span></a></span></b></span></td></tr>
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I recently watched a very enjoyable "Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee" episode by Jerry Seinfeld with Bill Burr as his 'vehicular guest'. Early in the show Bill espouses a philosophy of life that was passed down to him by his financially astute brother. It goes something like this: <i>"You <b>don't </b>want to be the guy that <b>owns </b>the boat. You want to be the <b>friend </b>of the guy that owns the boat. Let him deal with docking fees and the barnacle cleaning. You just show up with the beer and you're the hero. You get on the boat, you enjoy it and when it's done you can [wipe your hands of it.]" </i></div>
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You can see the clip for yourself by <a href="http://comediansincarsgettingcoffee.com/bill-burr-smoking-past-the-band" target="_blank">clicking here and fast forwarding to around 3:50 minutes</a>.</div>
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On the surface that seems like a perfectly good, perhaps even admirable, way of living your life. You get all the benefits with none of the inconveniences. But I'm not so convinced. While you may enjoy many of the advantages with fewer burdens in the end you are <b>not the master of your own destiny</b>. You are completely dependent on your friend to want to take out the boat which he or she will do on their schedule and at their convenience. You may be enjoying the ride but it's likely not when nor how often you want it.<br />
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When discussing a complex situation with a mentee there sometimes comes a time when the mentee wishes someone else would be stuck owning the problem. I gently remind them that all problems have gifts hidden in them. If the fear of making <a href="http://onmentoring.blogspot.com/2012/04/you-will-make-mistakes.html" target="_blank">mistakes </a>comes up I gently remind them that their decisions will either be correct or they will learn something - all positive outcomes. The joy then comes from owning the issues and having the independence to make decisions and reap the benefits whether they be success or learning. Independence and the ability to control your own destiny are precious qualities to cherish.<br />
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I'm not suggesting to shun the help of others. Few of us advance without the friendship, encouragement and guidance of family, colleagues, friends, managers and mentors.That's equivalent to getting help picking out the boat or maintaining the boat or steering the boat. It's <b>not </b>the same as just going for a ride.<br />
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All this talk of boats and sailing and destiny brings <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Celestial_navigation" target="_blank">celestial navigation</a> and the following quote to mind:<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">"It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves."</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">- <i>William Shakespeare</i></span></div>
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On Mentoringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06698771203943871003noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620406997265909594.post-87046835831173691242015-01-12T22:50:00.000-08:002015-01-12T22:50:06.308-08:00What Is Hidden In Front Of You<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Image from: <a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/31721843@N07/" target="_blank">is0b3lpalm3rs0n </a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/" target="_blank">Creative Commons license</a></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">“And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in <b>magic </b>will never find it.”</span><br />
<i><span style="font-size: large;"> - Roald Dahl</span></i></blockquote>
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This post has been a struggle to complete. My initial notion of what this article would be about was "what might be hidden in front of you" in terms of you as <b>the mentor</b>. I was going to use this phrase as an introduction to the concept that there's always more to what your mentee is saying. You should be paying attention to what's <i>not </i>being said in your conversations just as much, if not more, than what is actually being said. Do you notice patterns in topics or tone of voice around certain topics? Are there areas the mentee consistently avoids? Is there advice the mentee is resistant to consider?<br />
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Then when I sought out quotes I could share along with this article I found the two that bookend this text. These quotes expanded my scope of what secrets are hidden around us all.<br />
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Considering the Roald Dahl quote and hidden magic: Magic is defined as "the power of apparently influencing the course of events by using mysterious or supernatural forces." Putting the believability of supernatural forces aside, the quote is about you being an active participant in finding wonderment at what happens around you. Staying open and curious ("watching with glittering eyes") is the key to finding this magic and being able to create a space for your mentee to feel safe giving up their 'secrets'. This is not something that you can fake or easily turn on just for your mentoring conversations. It's an overall approach to life that others, including your mentee, will sense and respond to positively. And if curiosity and wonderment are things you consider yourself poorly skilled at it's actually something you can significantly improve on by simply <a href="http://onmentoring.blogspot.com/2011/10/curiosity-ultimate-attribute.html" target="_blank">practicing</a><a href="http://onmentoring.blogspot.com/2011/10/curiosity-ultimate-attribute.html"> (click for related article)</a>!<br />
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The Mike Murdock quote below, just as in the wisdom of Roald Dahl, is one that applies to all of us - mentor or not. We may all have big dreams and big plans to get there but what makes up a life is the little bit we focus on and achieve day to day. And yet our daily routine is rarely something we are conscience of which literally makes it hidden from us. It's like commuting to work and not remembering how you got there because it's become rote. Our day to day activities pass unnoticed and we essentially fall into a walking slumber going through our daily motions. It would be devastating then to fully awaken one day horrified at where we ended up.<br />
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Here's something that I do to counter that danger and ensure that my day to day activities support my intended path: Once or twice each year I decide to break up my routine. Usually this happens on a weekend. I spend my day alone and in a manner that's unusual for me. If I've never gone to a particular library or coffee shop then I'll go there. While I'm there I review how I've spent my recent days. I ask myself if the actions I've been taking day to day are pushing or pulling me on my desired direction.<br />
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By being in a "strange" new surrounding my brain thinks differently. It's amazing how changing your surroundings and taking the time to simply ponder impacts your thought processes. This allows new ideas to come to the fore. That's precisely what happens when you go on vacation and why vacations are so important.<br />
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All these secrets, whether they are yours or your mentee's, are extraordinary ones to reveal with curiosity and amazement. Awaken yourself, discover and process them for they hold the keys to your future.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">"The secret of your future is hidden in your daily routine."</span><br />
<i><span style="font-size: large;"> - Mike Murdock</span></i></blockquote>
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On Mentoringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06698771203943871003noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620406997265909594.post-69413284391505786302014-12-18T07:03:00.000-08:002014-12-18T07:03:21.900-08:00Interviewing for a higher position<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This question came in from a reader: "Do you have any advice for people interviewing for a higher level position (i.e. opportunity represents a promotion)?"<br />
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I have good news and I have bad news.<br />
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Let's start off with the bad news. But before I even do that let's set some context first. The hiring process from the employer's point of view is a dangerous one. It is a journey whose path is fraught with the possibility of making huge mistakes that could reverberate in an organization for years to come. Why? Because hiring the wrong person is nothing but destructive to the team, to the hiring manager and to revenue making potential. Furthermore it can take an excruciatingly long time to either coach that person up or move that person out. By default during the interview process hiring managers are looking for reasons <i>not </i>to hire someone. The candidate is guilty until proven innocent so to speak. As long as the position remains open a hiring manager hasn't made a mistake yet.<br />
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Given this perilous recruiting jungle a hiring manager will want to look for the best path to safety. That means hiring someone who they perceive has done the job already. Why take the risk of bringing on someone who from day one has to catch up in terms of understanding their role? [An aside: those stretch opportunities do exist typically when a company can't afford someone with experience for the role they have to fill. That has its own dangers for everyone involved but that's another posting.]<br />
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So the key to interviewing successfully in the "promotional situation" is to <b>demonstrate </b>to the greatest extent possible (while remaining 100% truthful) <b>how you're already doing the job</b> that you've applied for. Now for the bad news: if you haven't actually been in that role before this is difficult to do. It truly is hard to 'fake' it especially with an astute hiring manager.<br />
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About 12 years ago I was working with a recruiter who sent me on an interview for a fantastic, "promotional" opportunity. After the interview, which I thought went well, he contacted me. The feedback he had is that while I was a 'good guy' I didn't sound like a person at that next level. I asked him to elaborate. He tried to explain that I just didn't use the words, think about the things or answer the questions at a level that indicated readiness to move up. For example I was more tactical than strategic in my answers at the time. I was unhappy of course and quite frustrated too - as the adage goes: "you need to have the job to get the job". But they were right.<br />
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Now for the good news. Even if you aren't 100% ready you should go do the interview anyway. It will at the very least give you a sense of the types of questions hiring managers will ask when recruiting for that role. Pay close attention because you'll able to discern what you need to be thinking about and doing in your current job to better answer those questions the next time you are in this process.<br />
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Simply put, the way to get ready for the next job upwards is to be doing that job already in your current position. You have to do your current job and at the same time think about what someone the next level higher would be thinking about. And <i>if it's possible</i> do what someone the next level up would doing without stepping on anyone's toes - least of all your current manager's toes. You may find that your manager is happy they can delegate more of their work to you. This type of practice is the biggest key to success to further your career.<br />
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One additional suggestion: <b>Find a mentor who already has the role you are seeking</b>. That mentor will be able to give you a clear idea of their day to day work and advice of what you can already do to prepare.<br />
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Don't be afraid to go on that interview because:<br />
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“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”<i>–Wayne Gretzky</i></div>
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On Mentoringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06698771203943871003noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620406997265909594.post-65625723349681638802014-11-27T11:24:00.000-08:002014-11-27T11:24:53.553-08:00Give thanks for a little and you will find a lot<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">“Give thanks for a little and you will find a lot.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>- Hausa Proverb</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I would like to take this opportunity to give thanks to my readership for your continued interest both in my writings and in mentoring. As we enter the last part of the year 2014 many people find themselves open to reflection and planning. However you choose to spend the final weeks of the year I hope you find yourselves healthy, happy and in some way participating in mentoring. Thank you.</span></div>
<br />On Mentoringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06698771203943871003noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620406997265909594.post-89254142048103373062014-10-17T00:20:00.000-07:002016-02-22T06:35:04.747-08:00Doing What Is Required<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;">“It is not enough that we do our best. Sometimes we have to do what's required.” <i>- Winston Churchill</i></span></span></div>
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Recently I decided to take the advice of a good friend and start posting on my <a href="https://www.facebook.com/OnMentoring" target="_blank">Facebook page</a> and my <a href="http://www.twitter.com/onmentoring" target="_blank">Twitter feed</a> quotes that are meaningful to me superimposed on photographs that I've taken. The combination of an image and a powerful quote seems to have found a strong connection with my audience.</div>
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Churchill's quote says many things. It raises the concept that someone's best may not always be good enough in life. That's true and can be a depressing realization. But the quote also inspires by demanding us to push past what we consider our best and do what is ultimately required in a given situation. That would establish a "new best" for ourselves. <i>It gets us to achieve more than we originally thought possible. </i>And that is one of the missions of a mentor.<br />
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A notion that pops up often in my mentoring conversations is the idea of fairness, or rather the lack of it, in life. A typical exchange I have will center around a mentee's disappointment about being passed over for a promotion or perhaps getting a smaller than expected raise. I listen quietly as the mentee describes for me their list of truly impressive accomplishments ending with the inevitable complaint of feeling unappreciated despite doing their level best.</div>
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When I'm asked my thoughts about the situation I reply in some fashion that while it may have been their best the effort was by definition insufficient to attain their goals. I go on to ask what was the gap between their best and what was required. I recognize that not everything is in our control yet this exercise proves extremely useful. Most of the time it leads to a productive conversation. The mentee arrives at some realizations and a clear set of next steps to improve the situation emerge.</div>
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Other times the conversation is far less productive. I end up hearing all the reasons that were out of this person's control to have done anything "better" than their best. That's perfectly ok too. At that point I shift my approach and do 2 things: </div>
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<li>Brainstorm with the mentee about actions that could have helped them reach their goals but may not have been obvious. For example, was there a relationship they could have cultivated that would have lent support for their promotion? Or we may look at whether a career change is required to achieve their goals. </li>
<li>Guide the person towards being grateful for what they already have. Gratitude can be a potent balm.</li>
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The reason I chose that particular photo above to match this quote is because I had constructed a story around that little salamander at the time I snapped the picture. It was a very hot day and he caught my eye as I was walking quickly by looking for some shade for myself. As I fumbled for my cellphone camera I was telling myself that the salamander must be cooking on that searing concrete. He had to be having a tough time. He was probably looking for some food or even more likely something to drink. Those sharp white pebbles all around him would certainly not make his hunt any more pleasurable. </div>
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I imagined that he must be thinking he's doing his best to get to what he needs but he's simply not catching a break - heat, pebbles and no water in sight. But if he's going to survive he's going to have to go beyond his best, deal with the situation at hand and do what's required.</div>
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When I found my shade I still thought about that salamander and how much luckier I am than he. But neither he nor I nor any of us can fully escape situations when we simply have to do what's required to get what we want or what we need out of life.<br />
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I wish for us all the fortitude to go and do just that.</div>
On Mentoringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06698771203943871003noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620406997265909594.post-18182705695850528192014-09-07T23:32:00.001-07:002014-09-07T23:32:36.594-07:00Every Calling<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;">"Every calling is great when greatly pursued." </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-size: large;"> </span> - Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I love this <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oliver_Wendell_Holmes,_Jr." target="_blank">Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.</a> quote because it articulates a key theme in my mentoring work and likely the mentoring work of many others. While often mentees seek advice about particular industries, career paths or specific skills I have found that just as often mentees seek the confidence (or in some cases the 'permission') to make a difficult decision about the path they find themselves on. Sometimes that decision is about whether to pursue something they love despite the lack of certain benefits such as monetary gain. In other cases it is the opposite where they were trying to decide whether a</span> perceived gain was worth pursuing on<span style="font-family: inherit;"> an ultimately un</span>fulfilling<span style="font-family: inherit;"> path. </span></div>
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As an example I'll share a conversation I had with a mentee who concluded that they had reached their maximum potential as an individual contributor and was contemplating with trepidation whether to follow a management career path. They no longer saw neither greatness nor joy in their current role. They felt that becoming a manager, while a riskier and somewhat unpleasant choice, would at least give them a bump in salary. </div>
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After the mentee finished describing their dilemma I started asking many questions. My curiosity centered on the underlying <a href="http://onmentoring.blogspot.com/2010/07/motivation-part-i-move-away-or-move.html" target="_blank">motivation for moving towards a management role and moving away</a> from their current role. I wanted to understand whether this dilemma was arrived at by choice, by boredom, by financial pressure, by misunderstanding or by something completely different. As it turned out that individual didn't feel like their amazing contributions were being noticed. They thought occupying a managerial position of power would get their accomplishments noticed and that their greatness would finally be recognized and rewarded.</div>
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I led the conversations that followed down two parallel tracks. The first track was based on finding fulfillment in what they were already doing - basically finding the joy in every day life. The second track focused on improving communication and networking skills. I hypothesized that these were lacking as these are precisely the types of skills that gets one 'noticed'. So instead of focusing on obtaining another position sometime in the future we worked on improving skills and bringing out the greatness that the person already had within them today. After many months this individual let me know that becoming a manger would have been one of the biggest mistakes they could have made. </div>
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Which bring us to the quote above which inspired this post. I see the role of a mentor to encourage/remind/inspire folks to keep in mind that any calling including the one they are currently in (as long as it's not unethical or immoral or hurts anyone of course) can be great if pursued and done greatly. And I believe that the pursuit of greatness is in everyone's capacity.</div>
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I'd like to end this post with another quote that is meaningful to me. It is one of the keys to being an effective mentor:</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">“Really great people make you feel that you, too, can become great.” </span></blockquote>
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<i> - Mark Twain </i></div>
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On Mentoringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06698771203943871003noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620406997265909594.post-21073122076867025322014-08-26T23:29:00.001-07:002014-08-26T23:29:52.435-07:00Scaling a Mentoring Program<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN3UqaR2OH8IkzQgeYGl7MQPrO7VN32f0w-auLNTNoEJAdSaHgyOGakAxv_gOYVDDAMby-qz0UJRinhPiKmyGTwkzdcEkSzSBGAcRt0kYfd6Lf0oJC_eTWew_YwPB5PPTKbe7oaujLnmvA/s1600/sapling-154734_1280.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN3UqaR2OH8IkzQgeYGl7MQPrO7VN32f0w-auLNTNoEJAdSaHgyOGakAxv_gOYVDDAMby-qz0UJRinhPiKmyGTwkzdcEkSzSBGAcRt0kYfd6Lf0oJC_eTWew_YwPB5PPTKbe7oaujLnmvA/s1600/sapling-154734_1280.png" height="192" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #999999; font-size: xx-small;">Image from: http://pixabay.com/en/users/OpenClips/</span></td></tr>
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In my work with and within organizations that have mentoring programs I'm invariably asked about a common challenge: The program is getting extremely popular so how do we scale (expand) it?</div>
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Typically mentoring programs are set up by the Human Resources, Employee Training or Organizational Development department. These teams tend to be small and are made up of extremely resourceful (no pun intended) people who creatively do a lot for a company with very, very little. And while running a mentoring program does not usually require a lot of cold, hard cash it does take a lot of coordination, communication and time for it to be really successful.</div>
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Most formal mentoring programs are set up similarly with people signing up to be a mentor, a mentee or both. The signup usually includes a short profile that needs to be filled in by the applicant and includes questions about interests and expectations of the program. Once the deadline passes and the application period closes the daunting task of matching mentors and mentees is left up to the small team running the program. The time it takes for the team to read every mentor application, every mentee application, cross reference and discuss each possible match and then communicate the final mentor/mentee pairing decision is enormous. The folks involved in the matching exercise also have their "day jobs" thus extending the matching period even longer than first estimated.</div>
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As mentoring programs get more popular and companies find themselves with more applicants the pairing phase gets exponentially longer. In many instances this growth ends up freezing the pairing process. The program eventually becomes too successful for itself and gets put on hold never launching its next wave of mentoring relationships.</div>
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<b>What can be done?</b><br />
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My answer to the matching bottleneck is for mentoring programs to put the onus back on the mentee to find their own match. I advise mentoring program coordinators to stop laboriously force matching people with the likely result that several of those pairs won't be good fits. Those program coordinators would instead spend that time:<br />
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<li>Advertising and communicating about the program. A key part of a mentoring program's success is a company's visible support of the activity. This company backing essentially gives people "permission" to spend time seeking out mentors and enriching themselves with this activity.</li>
<li>Offering learning sessions about what to look for in a prospective mentor and how to approach them.</li>
<li>Offering learning sessions on how to be a good mentor and how to be a good mentee.</li>
<li>Brainstorming with prospective mentees to come up with a candidate mentor list - a list of people they should consider approaching.</li>
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The above approach allows a small group of folks to set up a supportive structure for mentees. Mentor/mentee pairs who are not force matched have a far better chance of being successful because the participants picked each other with little direct intervention from an "outside" person. I see this as a win-win-win situation for all parties involved.</div>
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On Mentoringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06698771203943871003noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620406997265909594.post-21693214645339442862014-08-17T21:53:00.000-07:002014-08-17T21:53:37.791-07:00Mentoring for the Wrong Reasons<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ7-oH056lPAYxU640AkN68FuvFRxeJj29TM7FIScPP7TKDy7lx1_VrqF9-tYFgFXMOnIk7CeFFav0Hw478dl-hXpKQq2r_o8f0TTSglB3PQO6Kbk_rKrk3NK0EN4wHQzzCsu53lPRlGAe/s1600/red-36070_1280.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ7-oH056lPAYxU640AkN68FuvFRxeJj29TM7FIScPP7TKDy7lx1_VrqF9-tYFgFXMOnIk7CeFFav0Hw478dl-hXpKQq2r_o8f0TTSglB3PQO6Kbk_rKrk3NK0EN4wHQzzCsu53lPRlGAe/s1600/red-36070_1280.png" height="279" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: xx-small;">Image from: http://pixabay.com/en/users/Nemo/</span></td></tr>
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My main goal with the OnMentoring blog and <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/OnMentoring" target="_blank">YouTube channel</a> is and has always been to inspire people to find or to become career mentors. It is usually far easier to convince someone to be a mentee compared to a mentor because the benefits are more obvious from the mentee's perspective. So this posting is highly unusual for me in that I want to refer to an article entitled "<a href="http://knowledge.insead.edu/leadership-management/operations-management/mentor-or-martyr-beware-the-rescuer-trap-2873" target="_blank">Mentor or Martyr? Beware the Rescuer Trap</a>" by <a href="http://www.ketsdevries.com/" target="_blank">Manfred Kets de Vries</a> about a set of circumstances when you should <b>not </b>become or continue as a mentor.<br />
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The article uses the term "Rescuer" to essentially mean someone who cannot separate their own emotional needs from those of the person they are trying to help. To the Rescuer the act of mentoring is more to fill a void in their own life rather than help another. Serial rescuers "<i>feed off a vulnerable and dependent person and feel satisfied when able to elicit gratitude and appreciation</i>". In other words a "rescuer" is in it for themselves which is the antithesis of why one should be mentoring. The article includes a set of insightful questions a mentor can ask themselves to ensure they are not "Rescuers". It's a really good read.<br />
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I'd like to share some additional bad reasons to be acting as a mentor:<br />
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<li><b>Don't do it to "look good" or "get promoted".</b> As in the rescuer situation above someone that's mentoring solely so they look good to their own management is much too focused on themselves to be of any real use to a mentee.</li>
<li><b>Don't do it purely to network.</b> While networking is a likely outcome of most mentoring relationships one shouldn't become a mentor in order to immediately gain access to a mentee's contact list. The reverse is also true.</li>
<li><b>Don't mentor as a replacement for good leadership. </b>I've occasionally seen managers who were having problems leading their own team go and take on a mentee. I can only speculate as to reasons why. Perhaps it was to make themselves feel worthy of their management role. In this situation I very strongly urge that person work on making their own team and their own relationships successful before dedicating any time to mentoring others.</li>
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Of course most people do not fall into any of these categories and so I continually ask everyone to consider becoming someone's mentor. And if you do happen to fall into one of these categories hopefully the issue can be resolved and you have a bright mentoring future ahead of you.</div>
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<br />On Mentoringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06698771203943871003noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620406997265909594.post-3142853486066667862014-07-06T21:49:00.000-07:002014-08-09T09:51:47.595-07:00The GREAT Mentoring™ Model - Be a GREAT mentor!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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One of biggest reasons people stumble upon this blog is to find tips on how to be a mentor. It's also one of the most popular questions I get asked. I've written several articles about <a href="http://onmentoring.blogspot.com/2010/09/tips-for-asking-someone-to-be-your.html" target="_blank">finding and being a mentor</a>, <a href="http://onmentoring.blogspot.com/2013/01/how-do-you-know-if-youll-be-good-mentor.html" target="_blank">figuring out if you'll be a good mentor</a> and if you are <a href="http://onmentoring.blogspot.com/2012/12/are-you-effective-mentor.html" target="_blank">being effective</a> in your current mentoring relationship.<br />
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As I pass the 4th anniversary of this OnMentoring blog which consists of over 100 postings and celebrate nearly 20 years actively participating in a mentoring capacity I felt I needed a succinct communication mechanism for people to remember what's important about being a mentor. So I came up with an idea and a simple model that captures those key elements of being a great, effective and empowering mentor - I call it <b><a href="http://greatmentoring.org/" target="_blank">GREAT Mentoring™</a></b><br />
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Here is the model - simply remember the word GREAT and what each of the letters stands for:<br />
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<b>G = Great</b> - Assume your mentee is Great from the beginning no matter what - your job is to build them up from there.</blockquote>
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<b>R = Relate </b>- Be sure to relate to your mentee and be personally involved. The more you are both connected to each other the more you will both get out of the mentoring relationship.<br />
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<b>E = Ear</b> - Be an Ear to your mentee and actively listen. Sometimes your job as a great mentor stops there because all the mentee needed was a person to bounce ideas off of. More than likely your active listening will lead to important questions that further a person's thinking and self-awareness.</blockquote>
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<b>A = Authentic </b>- Authenticity is the key to a productive mentoring relationship. Be yourself always. You will quickly gain a lot of trust by being yourself and being honest. And besides you'll feel more comfortable.<br />
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<b>T = Trustworthy</b> - You can't have a relationship without the basic attribute of trustworthiness. You need to create a safe space for both yourself and the mentee to discuss and share anything that will move the relationship and personal growth along.</blockquote>
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I've written about all of these ideas before in one way or another throughout this blog. Now I'm happy to finally capture it in one place so to speak.<br />
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Over the course of the coming weeks and months I'll be expanding on each of these areas and adding resources such as templates, links to information and related material on the <a href="http://greatmentoring.org/">greatmentoring.org</a> website.<br />
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It's been my passion to make mentoring a worthwhile and life-changing pursuit for mentors, mentees and companies alike for nearly two decades. I will continue to post to this OnMentoring blog as I have the past 4+ years and continue to cover a variety of topics, answer questions, link to interesting articles etc. When something fits or can expand on the model I will be sure to include it there as well.<br />
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As always I'm very grateful for your readership. Keep those questions coming and keep MENTORING!<br />
<br />On Mentoringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06698771203943871003noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620406997265909594.post-81851865389888665602014-05-11T17:39:00.001-07:002018-05-25T22:32:57.531-07:00The Peter Principle Evolved<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I was reading an excellent article entitled "<a href="https://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20140313201538-281874400-what-thomas-l-friedman-didn-t-report-about-getting-hired-by-google" target="_blank">What Thomas L. Friedman Didn’t Report About Getting Hired by Google</a>" by Gary Burnison, CEO at Korn/Ferry International. In this post he discusses the changed nature of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Principle" target="_blank">the Peter Principle</a> and the concept of something he calls "learning agility".</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><i style="font-family: inherit;">"</i><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: inherit; line-height: 20px;"><i>The Peter Principle, which asserts that employees will continue to get promoted until they reach their highest level of incompetence, has evolved. Today employees don’t need to get promoted to become incompetent. They will become incompetent in their current jobs if they don’t grow, adapt, and evolve."</i></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 20px;">"The net-net is that most successful executives are able to move out of their comfort zone, take risks, learn from mistakes, and begin anew as they encounter new assignments. The successful leaders continually learn, bend, and flex as their work world changed. In other words, they were </span><span style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><b>learning agile</b>."</span></i></span></blockquote>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: inherit; line-height: 20px;"> - </span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 20px;">Gary Burnison, </span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: inherit; line-height: 20px;">Chief Executive Officer at Korn/Ferry International</span></blockquote>
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He found <b>learning agility</b> to be the #1 predictor of success. This makes a lot of sense. When we live in a world where a single tweet from an unverified source can be the catalyst of company skyrocketing on the NASDAQ or falling to be on the verge of bankruptcy <i>adaptability </i>will be the skill most sought after.<br />
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Gary's definition of the term "learning agility" includes <i>self awareness </i>and overall <i>mental agility</i>. Working with a mentor very often at a minimum leads to greater self awareness. A great mentor will challenge your established thoughts with targeted questions and personal stories. I've found working with my mentors that I was able to expand my problem solving approaches by learning their ways of framing a problem and arriving at a solution. I was also able to learn from their mistakes and more importantly decide whether their mistake would actually be the opposite - an answer - for me in my own situation. The ultimate achievement is to learn how to continually learn. Because I find continually learning - building a constant feedback loop - is the key to adaptability.<br />
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Learning agility is more than thinking out of the box. It's about not having a box in the first place. A mentor will help you make those boxes disappear. This is probably why a study conducted by the American Society for Training and Development (<a href="http://www.astd.org/" target="_blank">ASTD</a>) found that 75% of executives attribute their success in part to having a mentor.<br />
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Good luck on your journey! I hope you find boxes disappearing and being replaced with green fields fertile with answers to your challenges.On Mentoringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06698771203943871003noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620406997265909594.post-9609512575702619932014-04-27T01:20:00.000-07:002018-05-25T22:34:29.868-07:00Reader Question: Mentors for the Seasoned Professional<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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A reader wrote in and asked a great question: "<i>How/where does a seasoned professional find a mentor to help him/her advance even further in their career, make a career change or simply provide ongoing advice and counsel?</i>"</div>
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Thanks for that question! I have been thinking about an answer and wondered how much different would the approach to finding a mentor be if you were more advanced in your career rather than early on. I actually could not come up with any major differences.<br />
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I have authored two articles on finding mentors - "<a href="http://onmentoring.blogspot.com/2010/09/tips-for-asking-someone-to-be-your.html" target="_blank">Tips for asking someone to be your mentor</a>" and "<a href="http://onmentoring.blogspot.com/2010/10/tips-for-finding-mentor-when-youre.html" target="_blank">Tips for finding a mentor when you're unemployed</a>". In these articles I discuss developing a candidate mentor list. This is the first step to finding a mentor [edited below]:<br />
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Start off by making a list of folks that you already know that would make a good mentor in your opinion. Perhaps there's already someone in your life who you'd like to emulate and who has the time and inclination to do so. If you need help developing this list of mentor candidates then ask around. You should ask friends, family, current and former coworkers if they themselves have mentors or know people who do. It's all about networking!</blockquote>
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Other suggestions to develop a candidate mentor list:<br />
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<li>Use your local industry group. Ask their leaders for ideas. Usually people who head local or national professional organizations have contacts who are willing to be mentors. They may even be interested in mentoring themselves.</li>
<li>Your local religious group or organization may be a fruitful path. Private organizations such as these tend to cut across corporate hierarchical structure and afford you access to a wide variety of people too.</li>
<li>If you work with vendors ask your contacts there for suggestions as they will likely know other folks in your industry (although you probably want to avoid people with whom you are in direct competition with).</li>
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The bottom line is to use your network. Networks are incredibly useful to help you find your next mentor or your next opportunity or even just some much needed advice.<br />
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As a seasoned professional myself I'm lucky to count among my informal mentors the CEO of a successful small digital media company and a world class public speaker and consultant in the digital marketing space. One was once a formal mentor and the other was a former co-worker albeit above me in the hierarchy. The key thing is to keep in touch and ensure the relationship remains meaningful to both parties.<br />
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You could also always consider going with a paid business/career coach. They've proven very effective with many a C-level professional who have retained their services.<br />
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I hope this post has been helpful. Good luck finding your mentor and keep those questions coming! If you have one <a href="http://onmentoring.blogspot.com/p/ask-onmentoring-question.html" target="_blank">click here to contact me</a>.On Mentoringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06698771203943871003noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620406997265909594.post-61486815468983477322014-04-20T18:27:00.001-07:002014-04-20T19:42:33.326-07:00Making Time for Mentoring<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I saw this article entitled "<a href="http://www.fastcompany.com/3027490/leadership-now/yes-you-do-have-time-to-mentor-heres-6-reasons-why-you-should" target="_blank">Yes, you do have time to mentor</a>" authored by <a href="http://lauravanderkam.com/" target="_blank">Laura Vanderkam</a> and published by FastCompany which I just had to share because I agree with all of it's points (except for one - mentioned in a bit). That one exception aside the main message of the article is a truth for me. It goes on to make some excellent suggestions on how to fit mentoring into a busy schedule.<br />
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The scheduling tips from the article are listed below but I strongly encourage you to <a href="http://www.fastcompany.com/3027490/leadership-now/yes-you-do-have-time-to-mentor-heres-6-reasons-why-you-should" target="_blank">read the short article for additional, important context</a>:<br />
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<li>GO AHEAD, PLAY FAVORITES.</li>
<li>SET YOUR PRIORITIES AND STICK TO THEM.</li>
<li>MENTOR AS YOU MANAGE.</li>
<li>BE ACCESSIBLE.</li>
<li>MAXIMIZE ON YOUR TRAVEL TIME.</li>
<li>BE A HOST.</li>
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Tip #3 "Mentor as you manage" goes on to state: "Hopefully, many people you want to mentor are, in fact, your direct reports". That's the one area where I diverge a bit from the article. Certainly a manager should always find ways to coach and enhance their employees' skills and overall career prospects. And I do recognize that management, coaching and mentoring overlap a lot. It is a recommendation though not to have your manager as a mentor because as a mentee you want to be as free as possible to speak your mind - sometimes about your manager. That could prove difficult when your mentor/manager also does your review and salary adjustment at year's end.<br />
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Go ahead and use these tips to fit mentoring into your life in some way. The activity benefits everyone involved. I'd like to leave you with my favorite phrase in the article:<br />
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<b>"Mentoring is not a charitable act"</b>.</div>
<br />On Mentoringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06698771203943871003noreply@blogger.com0